Lesson 46 Happiness is only a choice

These days, I was very low, again.

Jose kept encouraging me by saying things like, “Life is not a bed of roses.” or “What is experience? Experience is the sum of our mistakes.” or “Don’t feel guilty, Yuan, you did nothing wrong.” or “Nobody could do better than you given this situation.” 

But I kept sighing and sighing… 

So much so, one day, Jose asked me, “Yuan, do you realize…?” 

“What?”

 “The fact that you don’t smile now.”

 “…” I sighed again. 

Suddenly, I exploded, “Of course you are happy, because you don’t have any problems. You don’t need to think about anything, you don’t have any worries, you have a stable and secure life, you are not living on the edge like me. Of course you can be happy!” 

After a moment, Jose said calmly, yes, calmly, that is the quality I like about him the most. 

He said, “Yuan, you know, being with you can be very demanding at times because you cannot put your feet in the others’ shoes; you don’t want to see the others’ problems. Your only focus is you; you and you. But I am strong so I can take it.”

“Life is not a bed of roses; not only for you, but for everybody else.” 

“I also have a lot of problems. For instance, I have health problems that you know about. I had cancer on my nose and I need to watch that carefully. I also have serious problems with my son and I am always tore up between being deeply disappointed or hoping helplessly when it comes to his behavior. As a father, believe me, this is very painful. But how could you feel that since you never had any child ?” 

“And then, I have my share of problems with the Canadian government when it comes to your application to come to Canada. In this instance, I need to control myself and be respectfully patient, but I also need to get ready to fight if I ever need to.” 

“Of course I also have problems with you because you are always very demanding.” 

“You keep sighing and being unhappy; you don’t make serious efforts to control yourself; you don’t manage your own emotions and you let them sneak into all of the relationships around you.” 

“We are different. I have my problems but I don’t allow them to take any space in the relationship between you and I because I want to protect you.” 

Jose said , “Yes, I am happy. We have known each other for almost six years now and during these six years, how many times did you see me being unhappy? How many times did you see me being pessimistic? ” 

“But did I get through tough times in the last six years, sure! I had cancer; my son went to the hospital two times and he nearly died. The woman who spent 18 years with me suddenly turned against me… They were all the dearest ones to me, they were my family. But nevertheless, I need to deal with all those challenges without flinching.” 

“Yuan, my personal life is definitely not like the way your described it just now. The situations around me seem perfect to you simply because I decided to be happy myself. Do you understand? It is only a logically chosen attitude; it is just a choice, Yuan. It is the view you can decide that you will have towards your life …and for the rest of your life.” 

“Happiness can be a true and logical choice. You can decide to be happy.”

 “And you will be…”

 

Lesson 45 The outside is the reflection of your inside…

   Lesson 44:Trust

Lesson 43: About Ashiatsu   

Lesson 42: Awareness

 


07/04/2012 09:43 分类: 评论(0) 阅读()
 

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